


So your asshole roommate is taking over your life and everything seems like it's out of a bad 2007 fanfiction- a guide on how to not deal with life the right way by Lovino Vargas

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fluff, Lovino is a lil shit, M/M, Oneshot, oh god all the fluff, saw this on a tumblr prompt, the tally mark au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 20:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2481863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lovino Vargas has one rule: never fall in love.</p>
<p>Too bad that his roommate is getting really fucking close to making him break that rule.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So your asshole roommate is taking over your life and everything seems like it's out of a bad 2007 fanfiction- a guide on how to not deal with life the right way by Lovino Vargas

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh long title is long
> 
>  
> 
> I was in the middle of writing this when I watched love live school idol project and I was like 'wow I've got an idea for a new fanfic but I've already got one in progress' so yeah the ending may be kind of rushed
> 
> So enjoy this one shot and be on the lookout for fictional lesbian knight au fanfictions au please
> 
> If you want to know what I was listening to when I wrote this, the song is called sky full of stars by Coldplay. It's a really good song, I recommend you go listen to it

A tally mark.

Those three words were so fucking simple- they were a way to keep count of things. They could count votes in surveys, they could be used to count how many books you have in your house. They count how many times a person falls in love.

Lovino knew many people that had various tally marks littering their wrists; red for unrequited, black for mutual love, and a scar for if the person you love is dead. Hell, his own brother has multiple tally marks up and down his arms- his _entire freaking arms,_ and not just along his wrists. 

Lovino has three red marks on his wrist. He keeps them covered with makeup and foundation.

It's not that he's ashamed or anything (okay, so it may be partially because of the fact that every single person has ever fallen in love with would never _ever_ consider him a possibility), but because he thinks that the entire system is shit anyway. The idea that every single person in the world will be able to know about your private love life just by looking at your wrist is fucking dumb. And why the hell does it only have to be romantic relationships, anyway? Does the entire fucking tally mark system exist to downgrade platonic and family relationships as people wish and hope for their own tally mark to show up?

Which is why, while every single damn person in his college make it their conquest to find the ultimate black tally mark, Lovino has made one single rule for himself- do _not_ fall in love.

~~~

Of course, his idiot spaniard roommate was making that rule really fucking hard to follow.

Antonio Fernandez Carriedo was probably the bane of Lovino's entire existence. A very attractive bane, but still the bane of his existence nonetheless. He was a clueless airhead that didn't know how to take the hint that no, Lovino was most certainly not interested in being friends, and never got pissed off or upset when Lovino got angry.

He had fucking tomatoes hidden everywhere in the room (and by everywhere, they really are fucking everywhere; Lovino has found them in their laundry baskets, under beds, and even in the fucking dishwasher) in case either of them need a snack at some point and stayed up till one in the morning playing his stupid guitar (and if Lovino wasn't also up at those ungodly hours in the morning, he would be pretty pissed. But they guy's actually _good_.)

He's pulled pranks on everyone in the campus at some point; sometimes with a reluctant Lovino to help him out or to make sure he doesn't do something truly stupid. All in all, he's probably the only person Lovino would ever consider a friend, aside from his old neighbor Emma. 

He also had many, many tally marks all along his arms. Just like Feliciano; someone who falls in love too easily. Sometimes, Lovino would space out and find himself focusing on Antonio's marks. Many of them are red- but a good number of them are black (how could they not be? When it comes to looks and personality, he pretty much qualifies as the school's female magnet) and a couple of them are even scars.

At one point Antonio has asked Lovino about his own tally marks. It wasn't a very big deal, the two of them were playing video games or something when Antonio had casually brought it up. Lovino had scoffed and said something along the lines of 'Never had one, never will.' Antonio never asked again.

~~~

It happened on a completely and utterly _boring_ morning. It wasn't earth shattering or ground moving or as completely spectacular as the romance movies make these moments out to be. Lovino was just sitting at a table in the library with Antonio, half listening to him tell some story about something probably really stupid he did with Francis and Gilbert earlier that day.

It starts out as an innocent enough thought; something like, 'wow, he gets really animated when he's talking about something he's passionate about'. Then it turned into 'this sounds like a really bad fanfiction line written by a seventh grader, but his eyes are a _really_ nice color'. 

You know, just the little things he had only noticed about over a hundred times before.

And of course, there thoughts tend to move from 'wow, he's really attractive' to the other things Lovino had noticed about Antonio (it's not like he was actually keeping track of them, damn it!) like his personality. And how he actually put up with Lovino's bullshit. And how he was a completely clueless bastard when it came to some of the silliest things yet did a complete one-eighty and was a genius on another topic...

And that was when he felt it. That feeling started out small, right in the center of his right wrist, like a faint itch. His first thought was, 'oh shit a mosquito bite'. But it was the middle of winter, and those creatures were off hibernating or doing whatever the fuck unholy demon spawn does when they're not active. 

His next thought is that either Francis or Gilbert snuck itching powder into his favorite sweater (again). But he's worn this since the last time he's seen either of the assholes, and it's never acted up then.

His next instinct is to actually check and see what's bothering him like this. Lovino was not proud to say he reacted well to what he saw; but in his defense, it's not like he actually expected to see it.

A long, black tally mark in the center of his wrist, right next to the other ones hidden with makeup.

"Ahh, Lovi? I've been calling your name for a couple of minutes. What's the matter?" Lovino snaps to attention, covering his arm with his sweater. Oh shit. It's Antonio. He, Lovino Vargas, was in love with Antonio fucking Fernandez Carriedo. 

He stands up abruptly, knocking his chair down with a large thud. A couple of people turn and stare at them curiously, like 'hey guys, there may be some free entertainment over here!' "I... I have to go. Like, right now." 

Lovino takes off running before Antonio can say anything else.

~~~

Now that he thinks about it, Lovino is 99.9% sure that he's fucked. 

As soon as he gets back to his dorm room, he makes a beeline straight for the bathroom and locks the door behind him. First he washes off the makeup covering his pervious markings and takes a good long look at them. Three red marks, and a new black mark.

A black mark means that the person of your affections feels the same way about you.

Upon thinking that, Lovino almost laughs at the silliness. Sure, if the mark was black, that meant it was in fact returned; Lovino wasn't _that_ self deprecating as to believe that maybe the mark controlled by divine forces was lying to him. Even if Antonio probably did have a crush on Lovino at one point, he had probably long abandoned it and hadn't even noticed that the once red tally mark somewhere on his arm that represented Lovino was now black. Or he just didn't care.

So after what seemed like hours of careful planning and thinking, Lovino decides to do what he (and his brother, and probably the entire Italian populace) did best; run like hell and avoid confrontation. 

... Which isn't going to be easy, since he lives with the very man that he 'is in love with'. Life can be a bitch sometimes.

"Lovi? Are you okay?" Speak of the devil. Lovino pulls his sweater over his head and unlocks the door.

"God, I'm fine. You don't need to run all the way from the library _on the opposite side of the campus_ just because I felt a little sick." Antonio is hunched over in front of the door, slightly out of breath and clothes rumpled. 

"Okay Lovi... I was just a little worried, that's all. You were really pale and you had looked like you'd seen a ghost! I couldn't help but be a little worried." Stupid goddamn Spanish airhead being concerned about him, making him have feelings and shit.

Without a word, Antonio walks up to Lovino and slams his incredibly cold hand onto Lovino's forehead. "Hmm... Your forehead is a little warm, and your face is flushed." He wants to say, 'that's because you're too fucking close to me, bastard, have you heard of personal space?' but he bites his tongue. "Maybe you should take a day off of homework and assignments, and just rest. We don't want you getting a fever or anything..." 

Lovino slaps his hand away. "I'm fucking fine. Besides, I've got a lot of homework anyway. It would hurt me a lot more than it would help me to take a day off, idiot."

"But loviiiiiii~!" Antonio whines, not backing away from his spot only inches away from Lovino. "I don't want you to get sick because I'm really worried about youuuuuuu!! If you don't be responsible you really are going to get sick!!" (Jesus if whining was an Olympic sport, Antonio would take home the gold)

"Stop acting like a cold is the end of the world. Now if you excuse me, I left my shit in the library and I need to go get if before some dumbass decides to take it." Lovino grumbles, pushing Antonio away from him. 

"Okay... if you insist..." Antonio looks doubtful, but he doesn't press the matter. Good.

Lovino slams the door behind himself as he stomps out.

~~~

Of course, hiding feelings of love for someone is, in fact, as hard as shitty romcoms make it out to be. Especially when you begin to notice just how the normal closeness that you used to share makes a person really uncomfortable when they start to notice it.

And whenever Antonio is around, Lovino has to really resist the urge to kiss him and shout 'I fucking love you' or something along those lines. 

So he sticks to his original plan of 'run like hell'. Whenever Antonio enters a room, Lovino will make himself as unnoticeable as possible, or exit. He avoids being alone with Antonio (which is really fucking hard since- hey, roommates, remember?) and generally spending less time with him than usual.

He doesn't really talk to anyone about his situation; Francis and Gilbert would either laugh at him or tell Antonio, and that would be hell. Feliciano is busy all the time, and there's no way in hell that Lovino is going to that potato. He really doesn't know anyone else.

But after a while, Antonio seems to catch on that Lovino is purposefully avoiding him. And the bastard comes to the conclusion that it was something that he did. Queue lots of misunderstandings because Lovino can't communicate like a proper human being and Antonio is a self-blaming oblivious idiot. 

So they were stuck in a rut, kind of avoiding each other (Antonio not really knowing the reason why) and not really hanging out with each other like they used to. And things were kind of awkward between them.

But hell if Lovino was going _ever_ going to tell Antonio the truth.

~~~

"Feli, how do I get rid of feelings?"

"Que?" 

"Like, is there some kind of potion I could take that would help me get rid of all of my feelings? They're practically fucking useless, anyway..." 

"Language, Lovi!" Feliciano scolds him, but Lovino doesn't really care. Both of them know that nothing anyone can say will stop Lovino from cursing. Just like how Feli has that annoying "ve~" thing going on that he says all the time.

The both of them are sitting at the campus dining area, eating fake Italian pizza (but neither of them have the money to get ingredients for the real stuff, so they have to deal with the subpar shit). Feli's got a really busy schedule because of his art classes, so the two of them never really get the chance to meet up. 

Feliciano tilts his head to the side, thinking. "Hmm... well I really doubt such a thing exists outside of RPGs and stuff, and I doubt brain scientists are going to be willing to cut up your head and get rid of your emotions that way. Why?" 

Lovino slams his head on the table. "Wow, real helpful there, Fratello. I was hoping for something like 'you could sell your soul to satan' or 'become a republican. Republicans don't have feelings'." 

"Lovi, you and I both know that Nonno would disown you if you ever became a republican. But why do you want to get rid of feelings? Being happy and stuff is great, and you would be really boring just hanging out with a really reeaaaally boring guy who just sits there all day 'cause they don't have emotions and don't know how to have fun. Besides, you wouldn't be _you_ if you weren't do angry all the time, ve~" 

Lovino groans and pulls his head out of his pizza. "Because they're stupid and dumb and I want a refund on them. They make shit complicated and because of them I overthink just about everything and turn shit into a huge shitstorm of misunderstandings that only happen in bad fanfiction."

Something clicks in Feliciano's mind- or lack of mind- and he gasps. "No way- Lovino, are you in love?" He shouts, so loud that Lovino is sure that people can hear it all the way in the other side of the building. 

"Shut up, people in Africa don't need to know about my love life!" He shouts, albeit a little quieter, and covers Feliciano's mouth with his hand. Of course the airhead Feli had figured it out in ten minutes. What if Antonio (who is a little bit smarter than Feliciano) had already figured it out?

That's when Feliciano does something really stupid. He squeals like a sixteen year old girl fangirling over a boy band or some shit.

"Oh my gosh, so it's really true? My fratello is all grown up now! Let me call Nonno, this is so cool! Tell me about them- what are they like? I need to make sure they're okay for my older brother!"

"Oh my god Feliciano, it's not a big fucking deal. Besides, even though the tally mark's black, Antonio is a guy that falls in love with everything that moves, even if he's not aware of it! I honestly think he's not really interested."

"Wait, the mark is black? Loviiiiiii, this is your first step towards becoming a real man! And now you'll have a date to bring to me and Luddy's wedding, and you won't be the weird family member that sits at the end table with the little kids and spends the entire day really bitter!"

"Do you have that whole scenario in your head?"

"Details, Lovi, Details!"

Lovino sighs and scratches his head. "Okay, fine, whatever. If it'll shut you up. Umm... his name's Antonio and he's also in the science course with me? We're going into different fields, though. He's my roommate. Oh, and he's Spanish. And loves tomatoes. And he's an airhead when it comes to pretty much almost anything. Fucking clueless."

"Wow, he sounds really cool! Not as cool as Ludwig, though. He does seem like the right kind of person for you though!"

"You really think that's the sort of person I get along with easily?"

"Well, I'd imagine it wouldn't be easy rooming with someone with the same high temper as you." Lovino remains silent, not giving Feliciano the satisfaction of knowing he's right.

"So why haven't you hooked up with him yet?"

Oh shit, and his soda goes flying out of his mouth. "Because I told you, it's complicated."

"What's so complicated about it? You think he doesn't like you anymore? It's a black tally mark, which means both of you like each other. It doesn't really have to be hard, right?"

"I told you, he falls in love with _everything_. He has the same amount of tally marks as you do!"

"But if he didn't like you anymore, it would be red again! I swear to god, Lovino, you make things so hard some times! Stop acting like an angsty teen and accept the fact that he likes you, and go out with him? Don't you think you deserve some happiness?"

"I'm not just going to ask him out like that! It's been awkward between us for weeks!"

"And it's still a black tally mark, right? Then that means he's never really given up on you, you silly!"

"I just- ugh!"

"Just ask him out! If it's already awkward between you, then. How worse can it get? You've got nothing to lose!" Feliciano argues.

Lovino groans, putting his head in his hands. He's got a feeling he's going to regret this. "Fine. I'll try. But don't blame me when he turns me down and I come crying to you, because I will, and I will eat all the ice cream in your house in self-pity."

Feliciano stops frowning, a large smile on his face. "Yay, you won't regret it! If you want, I'll even help you arrange the first date! It'll be great Lovi, you just wait and see."

"Yeah, yeah..." Lovino mumbles, turning away. Oh, he's either going to end today hating himself or owing Feliciano for helping him. Either way, it's probably not going to be pretty.

~~~

"Hey, Tomato bastard!" That's the first thing Lovino shouts as he enters the dorm room. Antonio is sitting upright in his bed, reading a book on the different types of poison ivy or something. When Lovino makes his noisy entrance, Antonio looks up from his book.

"Oh, hey Lovi! You seem a little tense, what's up?" Stupid cheerfulness.

Lovino takes a deep breath. Calm down, you've already committed, so grow some balls and finish it. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Oh, really? What is it? Do you need some help with homework or anything?"

"Umm... no, not really... I had something to tell you... but it can wait." He adds that last part quickly. Oh yes. They can wait a thousand years, until they're dead and gone and fighting in the skeleton war. Then _maybe_ Lovino will tell Antonio.

Antonio puts his book down, all attention on Lovino. "No, it's okay. What is it?"

"Okay so you remember that one time when you asked me if I had any tally marks? Well, anyway I sort of lied, and I had like two or three when you asked me but since then I sort of... got another one, and it was black and at first I thought that maybe some spiritual asshole that deals with this was the one behind it and he was just fucking with me. But then I sort of realized that I maybe kinda sorta like you and since it was black I was wondering if you liked me back and okay time to go dig myself a grave and die, bye."

Ugh, the silence was suffocating him. Just hurry up and say you don't feel the same way so I can get over this stupid thing, damn it! His face feels like it's on fire and he just wants to curl up and die.

Antonio is the first one to speak. "Lovi, do you really mean it?"

"Umm... yeah? I mean, do you really think I would pull a joke over something like this? Jesus Christ I'm not an asshole."

"So you really like me back?"

Okay, what?

"Did you just say, 'like me back'?"

Antonio nods, looking like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Si? I thought you knew already, and that was why you were avoiding me this whole time! Like, you started acting really weird a couple weeks ago and you were avoiding me and I just thought that maybe you had found out and were like, super grossed out by me or something. But you really like me back?"

"Jesus, check your damn tally mark if you doubt me!"

Antonio shakes his head, looking sheepish. "I would, but I have so many that I sort of... lost track of which one belonged to which! I feel so bad, maybe this all would've been avoided if I had just remembered which one was yours!"

Lovino shakes his head. "It's not your fault. I'm pretty much as insecure as a hormonal teenager and can't talk about my feelings for shit."

"Oh. So we're both idiots then, right?"

"Yeah." Neither of them talk for a couple of minutes, and the silence is awkward. But Lovino has no idea what to say next.

Apparently neither does Antonio. "So... are we dating now? I would guess that's the logical assumption. But if you don't want to,t hats fine with me-"

"It's fine. I mean, sure. Whatever. I don't care."

Antonio takes a cautious step forward, as if not sure what to do next. "So if we're dating now, does that mean I can do this?" He grabs Lovino's hand cautiously and pulls Lovino to his bed, wrapping both of them in a blanket and hugging him close.

"Yeah, sure."

It's kind of weird, with Antonio's chin pressing hard on his shoulder and neither of them quite not knowing what to do, but it's okay. It's not like either of them are expected to be perfect (seeing as they were both acting like idiots from a bad fanfiction or even a shoujo manga only hours ago). And they've probably got all the time in the world to figure it out.

**Author's Note:**

> Just take this shitty spamano fic written in an hour while hopped up on hot chocolate and shit
> 
> Also probably cliche ending
> 
> But tell me what you think, I was planning on either writing more spamano in a different au,or gerita (in the same universe) 
> 
> Off to write about lesbian knights and dragons now, bye


End file.
